Part-wise Explanation

The poem tells its story in a clear sequence of scenes, each moving the comedy forward. Below, the tale is walked through part by part.

The Arch and the Lost Crown

The poem opens by introducing the ruler of the city as "a just and placid King." He proclaims that a triumphal arch should be built to span the main road and impress the onlookers ("to edify spectators there"). The obedient workmen build it "since he was the King." But when the King rides down the road beneath his own arch, it is built too low and knocks the crown off his head. The King's calm face frowns; he calls it "a disgrace" and orders the chief of builders to be hanged.

The Chain of Blame

Here the satire begins in earnest. As the chief builder is led to the gallows, he shouts that it was "the workmen's fault." The King, being "just" (and "placider now"), orders the workmen hanged instead. The workmen protest that the bricks were the wrong size — the masons' fault. The masons, quivering, blame the architect. When the architect is summoned, he cleverly reminds the King that he himself made "certain amendments to the plans." The blame, passed from hand to hand, has now returned to the King. Each shift is funny precisely because everyone escapes by pointing at someone else.

Seeking the Wisest Man

Hearing that he may be at fault, the King "saw red" and "nearly lost his head" — a clever pun, since he is furious but also almost the one to be executed. Unwilling to blame himself, he calls for "the wisest man in this country." The wisest man is so old that he can neither walk nor see (and is therefore, the poem jokes, "wise"). In a trembling voice he pronounces that since the arch struck the crown, "it must be hanged."

The Crowd and the Convenient Victim

The absurd verdict is nearly carried out — the arch is led to the scaffold — when a Councillor points out that they cannot shamefully hang something that had "touched your head, Your Majesty." The King agrees. But by now the watching crowd has grown restless and is "muttering aloud." Sensing their dangerous mood, the frightened King declares that fine points "like guilt" can wait: the nation "wants a hanging," and someone must be hanged immediately.

The King is Hanged

A noose is set up rather high, and every man is measured against it, one by one. Only a single man turns out to be tall enough to fit it — and that man is the King himself. So, absurdly and by his own logic, "His Majesty was therefore hanged by Royal Decree." The ruler is destroyed by the very machinery of "justice" he set in motion.

Crowning the Melon …