The Matter of Arranging Marriages: Rules and Prescriptions

Who decides whom a person will marry? Societies differ sharply on this question. In many societies, the choice of a marriage partner is not left to the two individuals concerned at all; instead, it is made by parents, elders or other relatives, who weigh considerations such as family standing, community norms, economic compatibility or ritual eligibility that the couple themselves may not be best placed to judge. In other societies, individuals are relatively free to choose their own marriage partners, guided more by personal preference, courtship or attachment than by family decision-making.

This is rarely an absolute either/or distinction. Even in societies where marriages are formally 'arranged', the degree of consultation with the prospective bride and groom varies widely, and individual preference often plays some role within limits set by the family. Equally, in societies that emphasise individual choice, that choice is rarely made in a social vacuum -- it is still shaped by community expectations, economic considerations and social pressure of various kinds. …